I must admit with great sadness
that Halloween has officially come to an end. It is a time for mourning. We
must mourn the end of a beloved holiday, but also for the daring pumpkins who gave their lives so that we may have carved them in any way we saw fit. Their
sacrifices were a true testament to the American way of life. They so nobly
offered their pumpkin selves to a cause that they believed in and never asked,
“What’s in it for me?” Some were crafted into ghoulish faces to scare small
children (and perhaps the elderly), while others were transformed into
realistic depictions of everyday life, such as a pumpkin throwing up on a porch… truly magnificent. Today, I would like to pay homage to a particular
pumpkin who changed my life, and the lives of my suitemates. His name was
Julius, and this is his story.
(DISCLAIMER: This next paragraph is based exclusively off my elementary knowledge of pumpkin growth; not off biological facts. None of this was researched… at all.)
His life began as a seed. A pumpkin seed, to be exact. He
was planted in a fertile field of dirt and manure, and he never looked back
from there. He first sprouted from the ground in a matter of days, and with a
lot of love and compassion from farmer Bill, he began to transform into his
mature self. Julius spent most of his adolescent days sitting in a field
talking with the other pumpkins about the weather, and whether or not they
could weather the weather. He excelled in math and science at an early age, and
was on track to becoming one of the most well-known pumpkin astrophysicists in
his patch. However, all that changed when news of the Halloween season reached
him. He was to be shipped off to the Dilworth Pumpkin Patch, where he would
soon realize his true calling.
He manned his post for weeks on end, until he was finally
purchased by my roommate: a man by the name of James Dunlevy. Julius was then
carved into the likeness of an adorable kitten. Soon, Halloween had come and
gone, and Julius had begun to rot. It was time to send him off into the Great Beyond. We did so in
the only way we saw fit for such a glorious creature…by dropping him off a
six-story building onto the concrete and capturing it on film. Please check my
latest video post so that you may also honor this fallen hero.
- Eric Richard
Eric, I always enjoy reading your post. They are always humorous. I would also like to thank Julius the Pumpkin for his hard work and dedication. Halloween is my birthday so I feel as though he helped me celebrate in a good way along with all the other pumpkins.
ReplyDeleteDo you happen to know where the practice of carving pumpkins came from? I think that would be an interesting topic to research. I will honor Julius' memory and I think we should honor the memory of all the pumpkins who gave their lives for this wonderful holiday.
ReplyDeleteWell after a solid 2 minutes of research, I have learned that pumpkin carving originated with the Celts, and they used the practice to ward off evil spirits during Halloween. Ironically, the Celts also came up with Halloween, so they could have just not made up a holiday with evil spirits... silly Celts!
Deletethe pumpkin you made it is so cute! love it. the little cute eyebrow and the angry eyes and the square square mouth. cutee! But why she is throwing up?! Is she pregnant or what? no dont like throwing up.
ReplyDeleteThis was a very witty article. I am going to miss carving pumpkins. We do have next year to look forward too though. You must have been very proud of your pumpkin. He went on to do amazing things. The pumpkin drop sounded impressive.
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