“When in doubt, choose change.” -Lily Leung
Neither of my parents went to college. As their oldest child, I wanted to go to the best college I could get into. My idea of ‘best’ at the time paralleled with ‘biggest.’ I applied to all of the schools with the highest populations and best football teams and when I was accepted to University of South Carolina and rewarded a scholarship, my answer became clear.
I thought that I had made the right decision for myself because in my mind, everyone wanted to go to a huge school. I soon realized that’s what most wanted to do, but it’s not right for everyone- including me. Being in classes with over 100 other students, never with a professor that knew my name, made me totally disengage from learning the material. In a sorority with a pledge class of 89 girls, and a whopping total of 350 “sisters,” it felt less like a family and more like a dramatic version of high school with ten times the caddy gossip. I felt like half of my time there was spent standing in line for food or driving in circles trying to find a parking meter. The faceless crowds drained me, and I quickly felt that something wasn’t right. Instead of deciding that the school was wrong for me, I assumed that I was wrong for the school. I was quick to beat myself up for not enjoying being cramped in the bars, elbow to elbow with total strangers. I thought that I should’ve fit in more with the Stepford wives that made up my sorority, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Because I didn’t always have an exciting answer to “so what’d you do last night?” people looked at me as if I had ‘LOSER’ written on my forehead. I’m not saying by any means that I don’t love to socialize and go out with friends, but I just didn’t feel like doing it there.
After the longest three years of my life, I finally realized that the big-school scene just wasn’t for me and that there was nothing wrong with feeling that way. Deciding to transfer was the best choice I could’ve made. It definitely wasn’t convenient moving all of my stuff back to Charlotte, or having to be the new kid at a small close-knit college, but the longer I’ve been at Queens, the more validated I feel in my decision. I know everyone’s name in my classes and my professors take interest in me and want to see me succeed. Queens students seem to accept one another for their genuine selves and celebrate their differences. My ideas of sororities have totally changed after seeing the smaller, tight-knit groups of girls here that even socialize outside of their affiliations. And no more waiting in lines! And no more parking meters! I can confidently say that Queens University appreciates their students by how they keep the campus and provide all the tools necessary to succeed. As I get further into the semester and continue to do what I enjoy doing, rather than what I once thought I should enjoy, I continue to find reasons why I am so grateful for this welcomed and much needed change.
-Brittani Pedersen
Brittani, I can definitely sympathize with your situation. I went to a tiny High School -25 kids per class tops- and always felt like College might be a bit disconcerting had I chosen a bigger school.
ReplyDeleteI know a lot of people that have applied to a big school and felt out of place, but did not have the ability to fix that mistake for different reasons, both internal and external. Its great that you actually managed to recognize that and look for a scene that better suited your needs. I'm glad the small school atmosphere worked for you, it also did for me!
igncass, I do feel blessed that I was able to realize the issues I had with going to a bigger school, and the ability to actually make the change that's best for me. It has brought me much more peace, along with enthusiasm for what I'm learning and the people I meet.
DeleteBrittani, I am glad that you found the place that was right for you. All schools are good. it is rather a matter of the right person for the given environment. What is wonderful about a small school such as Queens. is the celebration of the individual. Everyone goes to the beat of their own drum and for the most part is accepted.
ReplyDelete-shannon Fowler
Shannon, You are so right! People at Queens definitely do celebrate the individual. It is so refreshing to see after being at USC and feeling like I was surround by clones. I'm wondering if that's how it always is at bigger schools. Being one in a school of 40,000 has got to make you feel like you don't fit in, and people find solace in identifying with people who wear the same style and brands of clothing. (?) Just a thought.
DeleteI was in that same predicament as I applied to college. My whole family was either USC or Clemson. Always has been that way and seemed fit for me to do the same. Though I did not have the averages to get into USC i had to turn to other options for back up. I came to visit Queens and the rest is history. Definitely did the better choice going outside the family usual.
ReplyDelete-Sarah Lamar