Every year, people around the
country get excited for the one season of the year determined to kill us all.
When the leaves start to change, it’s a clear sign that Mother Nature is ready
to do battle with mankind. Most of my posts have been quirky and (hopefully)
entertaining, but we all know that with a great blog comes great
responsibility. It is for that very reason that I must warn you about the most
dangerous season of all.
When I
walked out of my dorm earlier in the week, I noticed the first signs of the new
season. I must say, it was gorgeous
outside… too gorgeous. As I strolled towards my class, I breathed in the crisp
air and basked in the glorious sunshine. Unfortunately, I was so intoxicated
with the beauty of the day that I walked directly into a light post. A chill
went down my spine (despite the comfortable temperature), and right then and
there I knew that Fall was up to something. It’s so darn pretty outside that
people forget what they’re doing and get into all sorts of trouble. I was fortunate
to escape Fall’s trickery with just a headache, because many people end up lost
in the woods or walking in other places that have more dire consequences (i.e.
six-lane highways, off cliffs, into ponds).
Mother
Nature also uses Fall as a way to hide incredibly dangerous things from us. The
threat of a blanket of leaves over the nation is perhaps even more concerning
than a blanket of snow, because people are more adventurous in the warmer
weather. It may seem ridiculous, but just sit back and imagine the horror that
could await you if you decide to jump into an unknown pile of leaves. Who’s to
say that a hungry Kodiak bear isn’t hibernating under that pile of leaves (I’m
not even going to Google if that makes sense or not)? Or perhaps the leaves are
precariously perched atop a hole in the ground that reaches all the way to the
earth’s core? What if it is just a regular pile of leaves, but all the leaves
are covered in ANTHRAX?!?!?
The
reality is that most people will just catch a cold or overdose on pumpkin spice
lattés
this fall, but be aware of the danger surrounding you at all times. Hooray
Fall!
- Eric Richard
- Eric Richard
I don't think that Fall is the most dangerous of the seasons. The most dangerous season is Autumn.
ReplyDeleteYou bring up a really good point Eric, fall is extremely dangerous because of how inviting it is. There are hidden dangers that people overlook. I liked your post because it made me actually think about something that we all take for granted.
ReplyDeleteYou hit the nail on the head with this one Eric. You have no idea how many times I've been tempted by a pile of leaves. Just sitting their all nice and innocent, and then boom, I touch a leaf and they burst into flames. I completely agree that people should be more skeptical about this season. You also have to be careful with the temperature especially here in Charlotte. One day it can be beautiful and warm, then the next morning its 40 degrees and you think its shorts weather. I sure have made that mistake and its not very pleasurable.
ReplyDeleteTim C.
Wardrobe malfunctions are also very dangerous, as you pointed out. Wearing shorts in the cold weather is the cause of 57% of deaths during fall, and it takes a clever mind not to be a part of that statistic. Jolly good comment sir!
DeleteI agree I think fall can be very dangerous. During high school I worked on a horse farm and sometimes I had to rake leaves so the farm looked nice. After I finished raking the leaves I used a shovel and a pitchfork to put them in garbage bags. Halfway through my job I got distracted by something and ended up leaving my pitchfork in the pile of leaves. When I was coming back to finish my job I walked in on my coworker about to jump into the pitchfork pile of leaves. Thank goodness I stopped him because that could have ended very badly.
ReplyDelete-Anna
What a NEFARIOUS pile of leaves! Ha, that actually sounds like a scene from an old horror film. I can only imagine the suspense as he/she approached the pile...(cue dramatic orchestra music).
DeleteYour posts are always very entertaining to read, I love satire! Also, I have always believed that fall was dangerous. When I was six I rode my bike down the street. All the leaves had fallen and my dad warned me not to ride over them. Of course, I was hardheaded and didn't listen and I lost control of my bike. Those stupid, slippery leaves caused me to have a permanent scar on my knee. Don't get me wrong, leaves falling are beautiful but they are dangerous.
ReplyDeleteThose beautiful little leaves sure can cause quite a lot of problems! I'm sorry that I didn't have this post completed in time to warn you about riding your bike over them!
DeleteFall could possibly be the most dangerous season of all, but probably not due to a blanket of leaves covering the nation? I was thinking it could be the most dangerous due to the intensity of halloween and the thrill of nail-biting horror films. Or even the extensive spending on holiday gifts during Thanksgiving and Christmas. We all know there are great sales on black friday. So, I'd say that the sales that can really dig into our pockets or the scare during halloween would be the most dangerous threats to us. Other than that, I would have to say winter would be the most dangerous, due to weather extremes and major noreasters or snowstorms that sometimes will shut down an entire city, especially if a major event happens in the south.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy reading your posts, as you well know. However, I'm not a huge fan of the way you started this one. The first paragraph seems disjointed and didn't really make sense. The rest of the post was on par with how you usually write. The comment about jumping into the leaves reminded me of a scene from the trailer for the movie "The 5 Year Engagement". The fiance jumps into a pile of snow and lands on a fire hydrant. Its quite hilarious. I can see you saying all of this with a hilarious look on your face. All in all great job as usual.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment! Sorry for the slow start, but I'm glad it got up to speed in the end. I was actually thinking of that scene when I wrote the post, but I figured a Kodiak bear would be more ridiculous than the fire hydrant. I still cringe whenever I think of that scene because it must have been quite painful!
DeleteEric, I have never really considered any seasons to be dangerous until now. I would have to agree with you after reading this post, fall is the most dangerous season of them all because you often fall into a trance. Allowing you to make out of the norm choices! Such as diving into a 3ft pile of leaves. I really enjoyed this post and I hope you continue to provide us with these entertaining post!
ReplyDeleteTHANKS!
Great post Eric! Your have a great sense of humor and display it extremely well in your writing. I too was walking the other day, staring at the clear blue sky and nearly walked directly into the person in front of me. It is hard not to be sucked in by falls beauty but we must all be careful. As for the leaves, there is nothing like jumping in a pile of freshly raked leaves! BUT ill be sure to double check what is underneath! Great post my friend.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you escaped that encounter Jake, because (you may not have known at the time) but you were incredibly close to death. I know I am being more careful now, and I'm glad you are too.
DeleteThe campus is so pretty. My friend and I went to took picture last weekend in park, it was so much fun. I love it! But this weather is so sleepy, I have problem of sleeping too much. Not cool. Thank you so much for sharing the post!
ReplyDeleteTry to stay awake when you can, it's probably a trap...
DeleteGlad I'm not the only one to be paranoid about leaf piles. I have this fear that there is something sharp under there, and someone is going to jump in and land on it, puncturing their body and bleeding to death. I'm sure it's happened before.
ReplyDelete"The reality is that most people will just catch a cold or overdose on pumpkin spice lattes"
Check and check.