You want to know what keeps me lying awake at night? Wonder. This may seem childish but yes wonder keeps me from being able to get a good night sleep. I wonder about everything from why I do what I do , to how I constantly beat myself up over the dumbest things. I wonder if ill be able to pull myself out of this persistent funk that I am in. I know everyone has their days where they feel down but why do I waste my time dwelling on these moments when it is so unnecessary? I wonder what would be different if I were in a different place or how I would be if certain events hadn't occurred. I am always in a state of wonder just before I fall asleep. As this maybe good for some people , for me it is extremely counter productive. I work my self into a tizzy trying to sort out what I can't control, and I wonder why I am a mess. Tonight I wonder about these things again... I stop and write it down and realize that I can not control other people and I am beating myself up over not having that control. I know what I need to do but for some reason I can not put that into an action and again I wonder why not? Right now in this time the only thing I can control is what me, myself and I am doing. If someone doesn't want to do something or act in a certain way then I can not help that. I need to stop my wonder, or do I? Why do I not wonder about how I can better myself ? This is a good alternative to wondering about changing others. This new revelation will be what I need to better my value as a human being, I wonder if this will work.
http://web.me.com/mpersch11/mattjasonsblog/Welcome.html
-Jason Cuzzupe
No comments:
Post a Comment